I don't know who is telling my kid he "can't" do things or like things because he's a boy, but I'm not raising him like that, so stop trying to break his spirit and ruin his purest happiness in life.

* Nixon and I went out for a mommy & me breakfast date. It was a surprise I did for Nixon just to give Mac some total peace in the house. We went to Dunkin Donuts and just sat, ate and enjoyed each others company. He was a total gentleman, using his manners, eating politely and being adorable.
   We even brought home a donut for Mac.

* Nixon and I were watching our usual Sunday morning cartoon, My Little Pony to tell the truth, when Nixon saw a commercial for Easy Bake ovens. What happened next broke my heart:
Nixon: I can't like that. It's for girls.
me: Nixon, you can't like what? The oven?
Nixon: yeah, 'cause it's for girls.
me: Nixon, I want you to understand something right now: There is only one thing that a girl can do that boys can't do and this is carry a baby in their belly. And there is one thing boys can do that girls can't and that is pee standing up without making a mess, because boys have a penis.
Anything else in the world boys and girls are equal. If you want to bake you can bake.
Nixon: So, I can bake cookies?
me: If that's what you'd like. Do you want to bake?
Nixon: No. Not now. But mommy, I'm glad I can do those things.
me: Nixon the only thing I don't want you to do are things that hurt other people and break laws.

* Nixon did something awesome last night, I can't remember what, but I was sitting on the sofa and put my foot out and asked Nixon for a "foot five", totally expecting him to high five my foot with his hand. He didn't. Instead he lifted his own foot up and touched my foot with his. He said "Haha Foot Five!"

Another night, another weird position sleeping on the floor.

The day Nixon grew up and approached Mac....like a man!

* You know what's adorable? Listening to your child hum classical music for no reason at all. I don't care what people say about Little Einsteins, Nixon picked up the music they play and he enjoys humming it. Today he was playing with his play dough and humming Beethoven! Awesome, right?  The best part is he was completely ignoring Mac and I being in the room with him and he was just totally all about the humming while he worked.

* If you've been around men for any period of time at all, you've undoubtedly seen the "man hug". Nixon "man hugged" Mac today! Mac called Nixon over, after Nixon did something pretty darned cute, for a hug. Nixon leaned in for the hug, then turned leaving space between Mac's chest and Nixon's upper body.
   I was cracking up! "Holy crap, did you just get "man hugged" by our 4-year old?!"
Mac says "Yep, I'm pretty sure that is exactly what just happened."
I asked Nixon for a hug, and I get a full-on hug and kiss. Yep, it's just Mac! haha

"She makes my face go *jaw drops* she's soooo pretty!", yes, indeed that is something Nixon said today....all on his own.

* No day is complete without Nixon and I making cashiers laugh with us and having a stranger listening to us and rolling her eyes at us. Our conversation today:me: Nixon, please stay over here by me (he was only 5 feet away, but he was too close to the exit to make me comfortable)

Nixon: Okay mom. I don't want to go to jail!
me: I'm happy to hear that, it's very good that staying out of jail is one of your goals in life.
*cashier chuckles*
Nixon: No, Mommy, you need to stay out of jail!
me: Nixon, I have not gone to jail so far in my life and I plan on keeping that streak alive. If I can stay out of jail, I'm sure you can too.
*cashier laughs again* That's a good role model you have son, your mom tells you life like it is.
me: Thanks, I try to keep things honest with him.
Nixon: Yeah, my mom's really great! Can I have my truck now?
me: Yep, when all else fails, bribery...works every time.
*cue the stranger's eye rolling and cashier laughter*

But for real, what mom wouldn't want to take an opportunity and encourage their child's goal to stay out of jail?

* Nixon has never really shown much interest in any woman, beautiful or otherwise, besides myself. It's not at all concerning to me, I don't care and it's not something I'm pushing on him because he is only 4.
   That all changed tonight.
   While watching E! Total Divas, Nixon had his very first jaw dropping moment when he saw a girl. He saw:

Ariane, Nixon's "SOOOOO pretty" girl

Nixon's face when he sees her 

Nixon says "OH MY GOD, Mommy, she's soooooo pretty! She makes my face go *cheeks sucked in, eyebrows go up and jaw goes open wide*. She's super pretty!" I say "Nixon, you think she's really pretty?" Nixon says to me "Duh, Mom, did you see my face?!" and he does it again!
  How adorable is that?!

Ummm...can I get "Conversations I had never wanted to have with my son, EVER" for a million, Alex? The answer....

* Nixon kept trying to lean over and kiss me, but his mouth was wide open. At first I thought he was trying to lick me because you know, we do that to each other in our house so it's not totally out of the realm of possibility,  but when I ask him what he's trying to do, I end up having the most uncomfortable and disturbing conversation with him to-date.
me: *pushing Nixon's face away* Baby, what are you doing?
Nixon: I want to kiss you!
me: Why is your mouth open? Close your mouth and kiss me.
Nixon: NO! I want to touch my tongue with your tongue!
me: You want to what?!?! Why? Why would you even think of that? What?!? *clearly I am having a hard time grasping the words coming out of his mouth*
Nixon: But mom, I want to kiss you!
me: Oh my god, Nixon! You can kiss me, but for gods sake, your tongue stays in your mouth.
Nixon: No! I want to kiss you my way!
me: *sigh* Nixon, where did you learn or see kisses like that?
Nixon: The Big Bang.
me: Sonuvabitch! Okay, see here's the deal: first, no kissing anyone like that, until you are much older! Second, you do not kiss people you are related to like that. Got it?
Nixon: Really?
me: Nix, I adore you, but you must keep that tongue of your out of other people's mouths until you are older, they can not be related to you and you can never kiss mommy or daddy like that. You need to find someone you have feeling for in your heart, like I have feelings for daddy in my heart, to kiss like that.
Nixon: Mommy? Can I have a normal kiss from you and a hug too?
me: Of course you can...no licking!
*he laughs because I know exactly what he was going to try!*

 Mac came home after training and I told the story to him. The only thing we could come up with that Nixon was talking about regarding the Big Bang Theory, is the episode with the long distance simulation kissing models that Raj and Howard use. The one where Leonard is still dating Raj's sister after she moved back to India. Yeah, we love that show and I guess we're going to have to be way more cautious about content, not just violence and language which had been our concern previously, when it comes to Nixon. Damn you, kid!!

The family has arrived!!

(No photos but trust me, family is here and Nixon is excited!)

* Nixon walked around multiple times a day with an invisible map in his hand telling me "Look mom, my cousin is 10 seconds away". I should mention Nixon has no concept of distance.

* Nixon and his cousin finally got to playing together,they've never met before so it took J sometime to warm up to Nixon and Nixon sometime to relax his excitement. The ice breaker? Matchbox cars. Cars bond all boys!

* Nixon saw J getting changed for bed. J was naked and Nixon says "Ewww....that's disgusting!" and points at J's penis. I called Nixon over and told him that's not okay.

* The boys loved playing together in Nixon's room! After awhile moms finally had to step in and say it was bedtime.

Tomorrow is more family fun!

Given the choice, I choose old.....you'll see why.

* Nixon, hands me a bottle of baby nighttime lotion, and says "Mommy, I have itchies I need lotion." So I rub him down with lotion and he now smells like he did when he was a baby, if only he was as quiet as when he was a baby.

* Nixon is in a gun phase. He's shooting double-fisted guns today. At me. Saying "I kill you dead!". He has gone so far as to use BeBe as a gun at me.
   I took BeBe and told him "BeBe, shooting guns at people is not nice. Be a lover night a fighter." To which Nixon says "BeBe loves no one!" which is very sad to think that my son's best friend doesn't even love him.

* Talk about a blow to my ego. Nixon came over next to me and points at the cellulite on my thigh.
Nixon: Mommy, you got an owie?
me: No Nixon, I've got cellulite.
Nixon: Cause you're old?
me: No, Nixon, this is all genetics and lack of muscle tone.
Nixon: And....you're old.
me: Nixon please stop telling me I'm old.
Nixon: Mommy, you need exercise.
me: Let's go back to the old thing......

Long live Tantrum King...long may he reign the kingdom of TimeOut!

* Nixon, Tantrum King of the World! Well, it sure felt like he was today. He was sent to his room on 3 occasions and in time out on the stairs once, all before 3pm. I have half-a-voice, it comes and goes, but for the most part I could talk all day long. Which unfortunately for me meant no more unheard, sarcastic cussing responses to Nixon's outbursts. Yeah, I forgot that more than once.

* Uggg....damned Lunchables! They've ruined Nixon's eating habits. Not that he won't eat anything but lunchables, but instead, he asks for candy every time he finishes his food. Finished his waffles for breakfast? "I gets candy now?" Finished his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, banana and granola bar? "My food's all gone, I get my candys now?"
   Two of his trips to his room was because I denied his request for candy.

Self-entertainment at its best tonight!

* Nixon is having a feet fight...with himself. He is kicking his feet and hitting them into each other, calling them go-go feet, and declaring one a winner! I swear, he is doing this on his own and it is hilarious!

* After Amber's 2 accidents on Nixon's bed, while Nana was visiting, Mac and I hesitantly allowed her to sleep in bed with Nixon last night. I'm happy to report this morning there was no mess on his bed! Amber is now allowed back in his bedroom to sleep. I hope this was an anxiety response to Nixon's excitement while his nana was here.

This is what happens when Nixon chooses a birthday card without being able to read yet:

* Today is Mac's birthday. He doesn't believe in making a big deal out of it, but Nixon wanted to do something special for him when I told him last night that today was Dad's birthday. Nixon said Daddy needed a surprise party, with balloons and cake. I kind of dug the idea because Nixon came up with it.
  This morning, while Mac was asleep,Nixon and I bought Mac a couple small gifts. I brought Nixon over to the card section and asked him to choose one. He chose a pink one, for a 4 year old girl, that said "Princess". I loved it! Why? Because Nixon picked it out for his dad.
   We stopped at the grocery store and Nixon chose a very small cake as well. He took care in deciding between cake or cupcakes, but decide on a small round cake ultimately.
  We came home, I wrapped gifts and inflated a few balloons to tie to Mac's computer chair. Everything was finished just in time for him to wake up, he came downstairs as I was making him a cup of coffee.
   Nixon chose some very geek-friendly gifts for Mac. They were spot-on perfect gifts!

photo on the left was taken 15 seconds before this one. He recovers quickly, eh?

Nixon, guardian of freshly made beds

* Nixon has been having a real issue with cleaning up his toys lately. So much so that it's come to 3 times of getting asked to clean them up, and then Mac or I clean them up and take them away. Today was that same thing, Nixon had just gotten his cars back and he decided to not pick them up. I was picking them up and he knew that meant they were going to be taken away again. So what does he do? He sits on the stairs and says "BOOOO" when he realizes I'm not going to let him come and save his "favorite" truck.
I ushered him into his room and put him in Time Out for that. I can ignore a lot of things, but a blatant disrespectful act like that...no sir, we're going to address that.

* Nana (Mac's mom) is coming for a week long visit starting next week. Nixon is excited and has even been happily, even at some points begging, helping me getting the house ready. Today he helped me wash the sheet for the spare bed. He then told Amber, after he saw the fresh clean sheets on the bed, "No Amber, that's Nana's bed. You have to stay out! Okay? I said stay out!"

Missing peenie!!

* Nixon spent over half an hour singing Old McDonald had a Farm tonight. Mostly the "ee, io, ee, io, eo" part. Very loudly, while sometimes lying next to Amber on the floor and singing it to her. She must love him because she keeps coming back for more.

* Today Nixon asked me to do something that I used to do all the time for him: paint his toenails! Tonight he is sporting lovely red and purple piggies with matching fingernails. Best of all? It means he sat in one place for 25 whole minutes letting his toes dry!

* As a mom, I get no privacy. Tonight Nixon walked into the bathroom and asked me what I was doing.
me: I'm peeing.
Nixon: From your butt?
me: No, Nixon. I don't pee from my butt.
Nixon: You pee from you missing peenie!
me: *look at him blankly* laugh
Nixon: You pee from your missing peenie! Because you have no peenie!
me: That's enough Nixon, get out of the bathroom please.
Nixon: *leaves the bathroom still yelling* MISSING PEENIE!!
Well, he's not totally wrong, I am missing a penis.

he's using math and biology to get out of cleaning his mess

* At the play area in our local mall, Nixon was smitten with a little girl. He'd say hi, and follow her. She was...not into him. She was kind of mean saying things like "What's your problem?" and "Why are you following me?". Nixon was unfazed, he'd just smile and go about his life. Then he'd be near her again and say "Excuse me, hi" and then offer to play with her.
In the end, we left to grab a bite to eat and he was still totally unfazed by her attitude towards her.

* (Nixon when he's supposed to be cleaning up his toys)
Nixon: Mommy, can you help me?
me: Nixon, you made the mess, you know you have to clean them up.
Nixon: But I have a problem.
me: What problem?
Nixon: I only have 2 arms and 2 legs but look at all those toys...I need more arms!
me: Nixon, you need to stop stalling and use those arms more and your mouth less.
Nixon: I don't use my mouth at all to pick up my toys, that's yucky!

My super-optimistic child returns!

* Nixon woke me up this morning and says "Mommy, its a little cloudy but still a beautiful day outside." He's so chipper and optimistic, most times I love that about him but first thing in the morning before coffee....it might be a little too much. But it gets me out of bed with a smile on my face.
First day of Spring and Nixon is as chipper as the birds outside my window.

* After his nap, Nix usually wakes up very cranky. Today he woke up so happy and smiley Mac swore he didn't napped at all. It's very rare that Nix doesn't come down the stairs, grumpy and mean looking like me when I first wake up in the morning.

...I have no privacy anymore. None. It's gone. Because I became a mom.

* While I'm in the bathroom, Nixon opens the door and sits down on his stool. I ask him what he's doing and he says "I want to watch you poop." Umm...no that's not okay! I tell him we don't do that and he says "But the cats poop where we see them"...damn cats! I get him to leave only to have him knock a minute later and ask if I need help wiping.
Oh, Nixon!.....

* I built Nixon a new Lego airplane today and Nixon said "Mommy, you're the best builder ever!" I'll take it, because I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to putting something together with those little blocks from hell!

TMNT update: 4 smileys and 3 frownies. Today was another good finger-in-mouth-free day.

Apparently, according to my 4-year old, I need a job....and then he offered me job security.

* Nixon spent the morning in his brand new, built by mommy, movie fort! Complete with pillows, blankets, snacks delivery service and his privacy. At one point he had Amber in there...and half his toy box. I told Mac he is a hoarder in the making. I was only half-joking.

* Nixon (to me this evening):you can get a job
me:I have a job. I take care of you.
Nixon:I'm not a job.
me:So if I don't take care of you what do I do?
Nixon: Nothing, that's why you get a job.
me:But if I get a job who will take care of you?
Nixon:BeBe.
me:BeBe will take care of you (BeBe is his stuffed teddy bear, NOT proper supervision) And who will feed you?
Nixon:Amber.
me:Amber's going to feed you?
Nixon:No. Amber is eating her food.
me:Why did you tell me to get a job? That made me sad. (he goofs off for a few seconds)
Nixon:You do take care of me...I so sorry mom.
me: (I look up and suddenly realize....)Why are you naked?
Nixon:Because I want your job to dress me and carry me.
me:Can I turn down that job offer??

* Sorry, Iron Man you've been replaced. "Hawkeye is the best hero" says Nixon today.

I caught him as he was going to the bathroom, so I asked him if he wanted to hold the sign. He did, then he was fast asleep again. 

Please stop using the cats as examples to follow, Nixon....most people don't sniff their own butts, because we don't bend like that.

* Arwen was asleep on my lap this evening. Nixon came over, gave her a kiss and said to her "Sweet dreams Arwen." He saw Amber on the stairs so he blew her a kiss and said "I love you, Amber". Could you just melt??

* He came running up to me, super proud because he put one of his Iron Man gloves on all by himself. He says to me, thrusting his hand in my face "Look, mom, my fingers paid attention and did what theys suppused to do!" Yes, when he is putting gloves on, he says to his fingers "pay attention fingers!" to get them in the correct spot.

* And finally, tonight after he finished his dinner, he had quite an evil case of the farts. He butt was rather musical. He'd take a few steps and it would sing. I asked him if he was okay and he replied "I'm fine just got lots of farts, mommy. My butt is not stinky though. See?" As he bends over to curl into a ball and sniff his own butt. I blame the cats for this behavior as they frequently lick themselves in front of him.

sometimes you just need the simple beauty of black and white....

Help! My child is a glass half-full kind of kid.

* Even when the skies are gray and it's raining, Nixon comes in bubbly and cheerful to wake me up this morning telling me "Mommy, wake up! It's a beautiful day outside!" How did I get an optimist for a son?!?

* "Mommy how can I grow if I can't eat and get energy all day?" This was said after I said "no" to more cookies. He did eat strawberries, apples, bananas and broccoli without fighting me. Don't worry, he's going to grow just fine, even without cookies for energy.

Looks like I'm raising an optimist...who knew I had that in me! 

...who's this sexist prick and where did my loving kid go?

* Our washing machine broke last week. Our landlord replaced it a couple days later...
Nixon: Mommy got a brand-new washing machine.
me: what?!
Mac: Why is it Mommy's? Can't it be Daddy's too?
Nixon: No. It's mommy's because mommy loves it. (I really don't)
Mac: But I do laundry too (he says this as he's doing a load of laundry)
Nixon: No, it's only mommy's washing machine!

* Nixon trusts me so deeply sometimes it makes feel unworthy to be his mother. Tonight, as I'm taking my nightly photos of him he rolls over, sees me there, smiles and doesn't even ask what I'm doing. Just goes back to sleep as if I'm not even there, camera in hand. I love that it's not even an odd occurrence to him, to see me in his room late at night with my camera.

he had just fallen back to sleep...well nearly back to sleep.