Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Ummm...can I get "Conversations I had never wanted to have with my son, EVER" for a million, Alex? The answer....

* Nixon kept trying to lean over and kiss me, but his mouth was wide open. At first I thought he was trying to lick me because you know, we do that to each other in our house so it's not totally out of the realm of possibility,  but when I ask him what he's trying to do, I end up having the most uncomfortable and disturbing conversation with him to-date.
me: *pushing Nixon's face away* Baby, what are you doing?
Nixon: I want to kiss you!
me: Why is your mouth open? Close your mouth and kiss me.
Nixon: NO! I want to touch my tongue with your tongue!
me: You want to what?!?! Why? Why would you even think of that? What?!? *clearly I am having a hard time grasping the words coming out of his mouth*
Nixon: But mom, I want to kiss you!
me: Oh my god, Nixon! You can kiss me, but for gods sake, your tongue stays in your mouth.
Nixon: No! I want to kiss you my way!
me: *sigh* Nixon, where did you learn or see kisses like that?
Nixon: The Big Bang.
me: Sonuvabitch! Okay, see here's the deal: first, no kissing anyone like that, until you are much older! Second, you do not kiss people you are related to like that. Got it?
Nixon: Really?
me: Nix, I adore you, but you must keep that tongue of your out of other people's mouths until you are older, they can not be related to you and you can never kiss mommy or daddy like that. You need to find someone you have feeling for in your heart, like I have feelings for daddy in my heart, to kiss like that.
Nixon: Mommy? Can I have a normal kiss from you and a hug too?
me: Of course you can...no licking!
*he laughs because I know exactly what he was going to try!*

 Mac came home after training and I told the story to him. The only thing we could come up with that Nixon was talking about regarding the Big Bang Theory, is the episode with the long distance simulation kissing models that Raj and Howard use. The one where Leonard is still dating Raj's sister after she moved back to India. Yeah, we love that show and I guess we're going to have to be way more cautious about content, not just violence and language which had been our concern previously, when it comes to Nixon. Damn you, kid!!

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