'Tis was the night before my baby turned 5 and being the only one awake in the house, my eyes were totally dry and yes, I am also surprised!

* Today was rough, but not because of anything Nixon did. I had my first real, painful migraine in a few years. I woke up with it and it got progressively worse as the day went on. Mac let me nap before he napped today. Nixon was pretty quiet, thankfully.
   When it was time for me to get up, Nixon came up and asked me if my head was feeling better. It wasn't, and I couldn't even lie to him. He gave my head a kiss.

* Nixon asked me what my head felt like. I was flinching when he made noise and he noticed it.
 I explained it as best I could: It feels like I had a troll in my head, with a shovel and he was digging deep in my brain and scooping out parts of my brain every time I heard a loud noise. Nixon looked at me, eyes wide, and says "Ouch!", then walks up to my head, kissed it and said (very softly) into my ear "Now you leave mommy's head you mean troll!"

* Tonight, Nixon headed up to bed at 745pm. After he brushed his teeth, and put Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash to bed in his bed since they "wanted to sleep without me" according to Nixon, I tucked him into my bed for the night.
 




  I was lying there, telling him how much I loved him...grateful I was he was mine, how happy he made me, all the mushy things I had swirling in my head right before he turns 5. He was listening, until he rolled away from me and said "Shh, I'm sleepy. I have a big day tomorrow. I'm going to be 5!", as if I didn't already know!

Uggg....what a damned day.

* You know those hard conversations that sneak up on you out of nowhere? Yeah, me too. This one caught me off guard today.
   This morning started with some coffee-milk (for Nixon), coffee for Mac and I, layers of clothes and a warm blanket for sitting outside waiting for another very awesome signing at Third Eye Comics. Nixon and I got there about an hour before the store opened. Nixon was running around but not being overly rowdy.
   Doors opened, we went in, got our stuff signed and even won 2 drawing from the artist. We were hanging out hoping the line slowed down so we could get the drawings and go home. Nixon spent most of his time playing with the dice, lining them up and what-not. He had become especially fond of this one pink die.
   Nixon had to go to the bathroom. The comic book store doesn't have a restroom, so we take him to the store next to them which does. While in there, Nixon says "Look momma, I have my pink dice in my hand!"
   OH SHIT!

    We went back to the store, found one of the owners and I had Nixon hand her back the dice and apologize for stealing it. We then found a "quiet" area and I explained to him why stealing is wrong. I know he didn't do it on purpose, but to me it's very important to nip this now before he does start doing it on purpose.
   He was sad, because he thought I was being mean and that the store owners wouldn't let him in the store anymore. I dialed it back a bit and told him he did the right thing by returning the die and apologizing. He was much better behaved after that and we left for home around noon.


* In other news, he chose his birthday theme. He wants My Little Pony plates/cups/napkins. He also asked for a Twilight Sparkle mask, but I doubt he'll get it since he hates masks and complain about them when he does wear them.

This is how I found him...curled up in a ball without blankets. 

I don't know who is telling my kid he "can't" do things or like things because he's a boy, but I'm not raising him like that, so stop trying to break his spirit and ruin his purest happiness in life.

* Nixon and I went out for a mommy & me breakfast date. It was a surprise I did for Nixon just to give Mac some total peace in the house. We went to Dunkin Donuts and just sat, ate and enjoyed each others company. He was a total gentleman, using his manners, eating politely and being adorable.
   We even brought home a donut for Mac.

* Nixon and I were watching our usual Sunday morning cartoon, My Little Pony to tell the truth, when Nixon saw a commercial for Easy Bake ovens. What happened next broke my heart:
Nixon: I can't like that. It's for girls.
me: Nixon, you can't like what? The oven?
Nixon: yeah, 'cause it's for girls.
me: Nixon, I want you to understand something right now: There is only one thing that a girl can do that boys can't do and this is carry a baby in their belly. And there is one thing boys can do that girls can't and that is pee standing up without making a mess, because boys have a penis.
Anything else in the world boys and girls are equal. If you want to bake you can bake.
Nixon: So, I can bake cookies?
me: If that's what you'd like. Do you want to bake?
Nixon: No. Not now. But mommy, I'm glad I can do those things.
me: Nixon the only thing I don't want you to do are things that hurt other people and break laws.

* Nixon did something awesome last night, I can't remember what, but I was sitting on the sofa and put my foot out and asked Nixon for a "foot five", totally expecting him to high five my foot with his hand. He didn't. Instead he lifted his own foot up and touched my foot with his. He said "Haha Foot Five!"

Another night, another weird position sleeping on the floor.

Days like today, I have no idea why the gods smiled on me and gave me Nixon...but I'm so grateful they did! He's amazing!

* I found a dead cricket this morning...in the living room. Apparently my cats will play with it till it's dead and then walk away. Nixon asked if he could leave it outside so it could wake up. How do you say no?
I didn't.
I helped him open the sliding door so he could put it outside. Once it was outside and we closed the door, I reminded him that it was dead and it'd most likely get eaten by another animal.
He says "No mom, look! It's moving!" and it was, because of a slight breeze (he placed it on the table next to the door), which I explained to him, reminding him that it was really dead.
His response? "If you say so mom, I saw it move."

* Nixon: Laying down is my favorite exercise.
me: You sound just like mommy
Nixon: Yeah.

* Nixon started telling me tonight about a bed he hasn't had in almost a year. It's his red, plastic toddler bed. He was telling me about his bed, the toys he brought to bed with him and the fact that "I slept in the little red bed when I was a little, little boy. Not a baby, but a smaller boy." I adore that he is developing long-term memories and he can tell me if he was a big boy or a smaller boy.

* Nixon saw flowers at the store with me today. I was at the register and Nixon ran over to the bucket of packaged bouquets and says "Mommy, these are beautiful and you would like them, right?". I'm not really a flower person, but....how do you not love that your child sees something and thinks of you?
I told him "Nixon, those are lovely. You know what?! I think, you should tell Daddy you want to get those for me. I think that'd be a really nice idea, don't you?"
He stood by the flowers and thought, then said "Yeah, Daddy will like doing that for you. It'll make you smile too."
The cashier was listening and watching us the whole time, she said "You have a very sweet little boy, momma. You must be proud."
She has no idea!

The haircut that forced even the hairdresser to leave and take a time out...yep, that was my kid today!

(no pictures today....I'm lazy and the stairs are mocking me)
*Nixon woke me up today saying "Good morning, Mommy!", I rolled over and he ran downstairs to Mac and said "Daddy, Mom's not getting up."...tattletale!

* I left Mac and Nixon to get haircuts, while I ran an errand. I returned to find Nixon crying, Mac beyond frustrated and pissed, Nixon without a haircut and Mac with a haircut. Holy hell, y'all! It'd been less than 15 minutes!
   The story goes: Mac gave Nixon his Angry Birds game to play and got his (Mac's) hair cut first. When he was done, Nixon was getting mad at a stage and yelled that he needed to still play his game! Mac said "No haircut", Nixon melted down and I walked up at the ass-end of all that, just in time to see my baby boy needing a hug from mommy.
   After ten minutes of calming him down, getting Mac off the "my kid's an ass and I just want to go away" train and getting myself back into the mom mind we did get Nixon's haircut. And he was awesome! Sat still the whole time, no screaming or fighting.
   The hairdresser was MIA for about 5 minutes when we first walked in. I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and say she was in the restroom....but I wouldn't blame her if she was reconsidering her job during those missing minutes. Gods know I reconsider parenthood on days like today....

* Nixon says to me today "Mommy, I want to be little in your belly again." WHAT?!?!
me: Baby, you're only in my belly once. When you come out, that's it. It's a no return policy.
Nixon: But mommy, I want to be in your belly.
me: Nixon, I'm pretty sure you're confused. I love that you want to go back in time and take me with you, but we can't. We can only move forward.
Nixon: That's stupid.
me: You have no idea.

Ummm...can I get "Conversations I had never wanted to have with my son, EVER" for a million, Alex? The answer....

* Nixon kept trying to lean over and kiss me, but his mouth was wide open. At first I thought he was trying to lick me because you know, we do that to each other in our house so it's not totally out of the realm of possibility,  but when I ask him what he's trying to do, I end up having the most uncomfortable and disturbing conversation with him to-date.
me: *pushing Nixon's face away* Baby, what are you doing?
Nixon: I want to kiss you!
me: Why is your mouth open? Close your mouth and kiss me.
Nixon: NO! I want to touch my tongue with your tongue!
me: You want to what?!?! Why? Why would you even think of that? What?!? *clearly I am having a hard time grasping the words coming out of his mouth*
Nixon: But mom, I want to kiss you!
me: Oh my god, Nixon! You can kiss me, but for gods sake, your tongue stays in your mouth.
Nixon: No! I want to kiss you my way!
me: *sigh* Nixon, where did you learn or see kisses like that?
Nixon: The Big Bang.
me: Sonuvabitch! Okay, see here's the deal: first, no kissing anyone like that, until you are much older! Second, you do not kiss people you are related to like that. Got it?
Nixon: Really?
me: Nix, I adore you, but you must keep that tongue of your out of other people's mouths until you are older, they can not be related to you and you can never kiss mommy or daddy like that. You need to find someone you have feeling for in your heart, like I have feelings for daddy in my heart, to kiss like that.
Nixon: Mommy? Can I have a normal kiss from you and a hug too?
me: Of course you can...no licking!
*he laughs because I know exactly what he was going to try!*

 Mac came home after training and I told the story to him. The only thing we could come up with that Nixon was talking about regarding the Big Bang Theory, is the episode with the long distance simulation kissing models that Raj and Howard use. The one where Leonard is still dating Raj's sister after she moved back to India. Yeah, we love that show and I guess we're going to have to be way more cautious about content, not just violence and language which had been our concern previously, when it comes to Nixon. Damn you, kid!!

Life kind of sucks, even when you're only 4 with no real life issues.

* Another great signing at Third Eye Comics today. Nixon and I arrived way earlier than usual, got there before 9am. It was a great crew, chill day, Nixon was great. The creators we met were awesome! They even got the "Name Story" because they asked how we came up with his name (I had them sign something for him).

* Tonight Nixon and I had a deep conversation about friends, love, missing people and broken hearts. Much deeper material than I'd thought I'd have to address with a 4-year old, but he needed to hear it. He was saying he wanted to quit making friends. Why? Because his heart hurt from missing his cousin J so much, he was worried that new friends would leave him too and hurt his heart even more.
   Poor kiddo.
   I had to tell him, his heart hurt from missing J because he loved J. We always miss the ones we love when we have to say good-bye. He seemed to understand, but wow, talk about a really heavy moment for us.

Either he has no sense of humor or I'm not as funny to him as I used to be....It's gotta be the first option, right?!?!

* Evidently, Nixon is already getting tired of my humor. He will say to me, multiple times a day, "Hey Mom, guess what?" or "Mommy, I've got really good news!" which leaves him wide open for my response "You just saved me a ton of money on car insurance!"
   He has never once laughed at that.
   People around us, in stores or at coffee shops, now they always chuckle when they hear this exchange between us. But, c'mon kid, this is pure regurgitated commercial comedy gold I'm giving you!

* And then this happened today:
Nixon: I finished my breakfast, please can I have candy please?me: No. You are not getting candy this early in the day.
Nixon: But please I love candy.
me: I realize you love candy but you're not getting any.
Nixon: Please can I want candy please?
me: Sure, you can want candy all your little heart desires.
Nixon: *happy smile on his face* Aww...thanks Mom
me: But wanting and having are 2 different things. I can't stop you from wanting something, but I can stop you from having it.

* Finally, he's been really bad about cleaning up his toys. Tonight I started small: pick up all the toys on the floor and put them in the bins. From there it was: put all the clothes in the basket. After that, back to toys: put the bins on the table. Look your room is all cleaned!
   We went back to the living room and did the same thing. Small tasks, big results! I told him every night we're doing the same thing. 

Good day, sad night

* My loving son adores nature. He loves being outside surrounded by trees, flowers, birds...all of it. This afternoon I took him to a path we haven't visited before but unfortunately we were not dressed properly for this muddy, thin, deep-in-the-woods path. We were getting feasted on by mosquitoes and legs getting cut by thorny bushes. Nixon was crying when I told him we had to leave. He wanted to stay and even told me "Mommy, I won't cry when it hurts just stay please". Poor kid.
   We went to the Naval Academy and we walked around the large field by the water. Nixon was in love just seconds after we got there.

* What a rough bedtime we had. Mac had training tonight, so it was Nixon and I on our own. Nixon got his shower and within seconds of getting out of the shower he starts crying and saying he missed his daddy.
   This went on for over 10 minutes! I managed to get Mac on the phone and they talked for a couple minutes, then Mac had to get to work.
   Nixon was still crying, in bed, snuggling with me. I pulled him onto my chest and handed him the picture frame he has of he and Mac together. He slowly calmed down and stopped crying. After a few more minutes of talking and cuddles, we said our good nights, gave our good night kisses and I left his room.

Maybe I'm too open & honest with him??

* Okay, so it goes like this: Yesterday Mac and I had a little "quality time", resulting in a mark (not hickey...more along the lines of a bruise) on me. Nixon saw it today and said "Oh mommy, you have a bad owie. Does it hurt? I know! A Star Wars band-aid will make it better. Those are super strong!"
   I tell him it's fine, it doesn't hurt and it's not really an owie. Then, before I can stop the words from leaving my lips I say, "Daddy did it to mommy, but not on purpose."
   Nixon, the most tender-hearted kid I know says "I'm gonna tell Daddy he needs to play nice! Right, Mommy? We can't be mean to our friends!"
   (He did eventually put a band-aid on the "owie" and he also did tell Mac he has to be nicer to me. So cute!)

   Thanks goddess he didn't ask how the mark was made or why it was there! haha

"maybe there's a baby in you belly?"

* Nixon has never showed any interest in having or requested a sibling. It's been a great perk in our simple life.
   Tonight, I was lying on the sofa nursing some cursed cramps.
Nixon: Mommy, you hurt?
me: Yes. My belly hurts.
Nixon: Maybe because there's a baby in it?
me: NO! There's NO baby! *pause* Nixon, my belly hurts because there's not a baby in it. That's how I know there's no baby.
Nixon: Really?
me: Yep. Girls bodies do this thing almost monthly if there's no baby. It hurts but its not serious.
Nixon: Okay.
me: Nixon, you know we're never having another baby right? Our family is complete. There's nothing missing since we had you. You're the only baby we ever need.
Nixon: Aww...that's so sweet!
Mac: Yeah, he's pretty over it.

Happy Independence Day, America!

* Nothing really super American happening here.

* Nixon says to me today "Mommy, guess what?" and before I can respond he says "You're gonna get old.", but he says it very matter-of-factually not at all with the humor he's said it with previously.

* Tonight, Nixon saw me looking at random photos and he noticed a woman with a largely pregnant belly. He says "Baby Nixon's in there!" and points to her belly. I tell him "No, silly, my baby Nixon is right here" and I start kissing him.
   Then I asked him if he wanted to see pictures of me when he was in my belly. He was very excited and we looked at some of the pictures I do have of me being pregnant with him. He was in awe of the photo of me taken just days before Nixon was born.....I was HUGE! haha It was nice that he was interested in his baby pictures, and pictures of my pregnancy with him. I love sharing those memories with him sitting right next to me asking me questions.

The family has arrived!!

(No photos but trust me, family is here and Nixon is excited!)

* Nixon walked around multiple times a day with an invisible map in his hand telling me "Look mom, my cousin is 10 seconds away". I should mention Nixon has no concept of distance.

* Nixon and his cousin finally got to playing together,they've never met before so it took J sometime to warm up to Nixon and Nixon sometime to relax his excitement. The ice breaker? Matchbox cars. Cars bond all boys!

* Nixon saw J getting changed for bed. J was naked and Nixon says "Ewww....that's disgusting!" and points at J's penis. I called Nixon over and told him that's not okay.

* The boys loved playing together in Nixon's room! After awhile moms finally had to step in and say it was bedtime.

Tomorrow is more family fun!

The night Nixon asks me to create a costume for BeBe

* Nixon comes up to me and whispers in my ear "Mommy, its ice time". "Ice time" is Nixonese for popsicles. He didn't ask, so he didn't get one until he looked me in the eyes and asked me the correct way.

* Nixon was getting scared of the thunder that was part of the storm rolling through this evening. He kept saying it was loud and scary. I told him its just noise and won't hurt him. That didn't seem to work. I continued "Baby, thunder is like your Daddy. It's loud and sounds scary, but it won't ever hurt you." Nixon looked at me and said "Thunder is my Daddy?" SO not the point I was trying to make, but he wasn't scared of it anymore!

* We are going to a local Comic Con tomorrow. All our costumes are figured out and Nixon decides tonight to drop this bomb on me: He wants BeBe to have a costume too! BeBe is his teddy bear, and a total part of the family, so I of course tell him "I'll see what I can come up with". I end up with a cape and eye patch for his bear. It took about 90 minutes, because I had to take apart and put back together my sewing machine, but none of that will matter as long as Nixon likes what I came up with for his bear.

the day the poo was stuck in his butt "FOREVER"

* Nixon was eating his snacks today, I was chilling on the sofa. Nixon walks over to me and says "Open up mommy", which I do, he drops a cheese cracker in my mouth and pats my head saying "Good girl, Mommy!"

* Playing around with two cat toys, I managed to hit myself on the wrist bone with the hard ball. I said "ow" because it really did hurt and Nixon said "Wait mommy, I go get you a bandaid for your owie" He put the bandaid on my wrist (it's Hulk, which rocks!) and then kissed it better.

* Nix was in the bathroom for a while. I knocked to check on him:
me: Nixon, you okay?
Nixon: Mommy, the poop is stuck in my butt! It won't come out!
me: Okay, relax. The poop will come out, but don't force it.
Nixon: It's never coming out! It's STUCK IN MY BUTT FOREVER!
me: How about I get your PSP and you sit in here and just relax for a few minutes, giving little pushes?
Nixon: Okay. but the poop is super stuck up my butt.
me: *about 15 minutes later* Nix? Baby, you done?
Nixon: No, the poop gave up.
me: Gave up?
Nixon: Yeah, I'm done.
me: Okay, well let's wipe and wash your hands.

* Nixon: Hey! Who turned out the lights?! I can't see!
Yeah...he's walking around with his eyes closed and saying this. He started this stuff this morning while I was still asleep. I was only half-aware of what was going on, so he came over and lifted one of my eyelids and said "MOM, I said....."

Given the choice, I choose old.....you'll see why.

* Nixon, hands me a bottle of baby nighttime lotion, and says "Mommy, I have itchies I need lotion." So I rub him down with lotion and he now smells like he did when he was a baby, if only he was as quiet as when he was a baby.

* Nixon is in a gun phase. He's shooting double-fisted guns today. At me. Saying "I kill you dead!". He has gone so far as to use BeBe as a gun at me.
   I took BeBe and told him "BeBe, shooting guns at people is not nice. Be a lover night a fighter." To which Nixon says "BeBe loves no one!" which is very sad to think that my son's best friend doesn't even love him.

* Talk about a blow to my ego. Nixon came over next to me and points at the cellulite on my thigh.
Nixon: Mommy, you got an owie?
me: No Nixon, I've got cellulite.
Nixon: Cause you're old?
me: No, Nixon, this is all genetics and lack of muscle tone.
Nixon: And....you're old.
me: Nixon please stop telling me I'm old.
Nixon: Mommy, you need exercise.
me: Let's go back to the old thing......

"...ants are trying to get to the food in my tummy!" oh the fears of a 4-year old.

* We have an ant problem, it seems. No matter what I do, we've got them all over our front entrance area, which also happens to be where Nixon's table and chairs are. He's starting to freak out every time he sees an ant, no matter how many times we tell him they are NOT trying to eat him.
   Tonight took the cake. He came downstairs and told Mac "Daddy, there were ants on me trying to get to the food in my tummy!" Mac told him to go back to bed, and I went upstairs to explain to him that: ants are simple insects. They go where the food is, usually in a straight line and sometimes Nixon is in the way. The ants aren't trying to get the food that he ate, rather Nixon is in the path they are going to to get food crumbs he left behind. He says "So they won't try to get inside me for the food in my tummy?" Oh! I tell him "No baby, the ants are just crawling over you, like Amber or Arwen walk over me in my bed to get to their food dish. They don't want the food in your belly, they just don't want to go the long way, around you, to get to the food they know is waiting for them."
   He settled down and even laughed at his silliness. I reminded him that he needs to be careful about not dropping food on the floor and throwing his trash out right away, but he seemed fine and ready for bed by the time I left him.

"I'm being Zombie!"

* Nixon has started perfecting his Zombie-face. He basically cocks his head to the side, lets his mouth go slack and just looks at you....it's kind of freaky. I had no idea what he was doing until I asked him and he said "Mom, I'm being zombie!"

* I still have no voice, but did go to the doctor. When I came home from the doctor, Nixon came rushing over to me and says "Mommy, did they fix you voice?" When I told him no, and I don't know when it'll be back, he says "But you went to the doctor, he makes you better!"

**No photos tonight. I found out I've got borderline strep throat and was given a bunch of medications, so I'm going to bed early and just not feeling up for sneaking into Nixon's room when he finally falls asleep. He stays up talking to himself and I'm fine with that, but tonight....mommy needs to go to bed. **

I don't always let my son talk to strangers, but when I do it usually results in a really awkward conversation

* Last week Nixon took a sudden interest in noticing people walking with canes. It was always elderly people using the canes and he always points and says loudly "Mommy, what's wrong with that person?"
   Today, at the dollar store, Nixon sees an older gentleman (OG from now on) using a cane in the same aisle as us. Enter the scene from above. I say to him "Well baby, why don't you ask him yourself, politely." And he does just that.
Nixon: walks up to the man: Excuse, but what's that?
OG: It's my cane.
Nixon: Why do you have it?
OG: Because I need it to walk.
Nixon: Why?
OG: *to his credit his was very kind to Nixon during the "why"s* Well, I'm old and my legs don't work as well as the used too.
me: *before Nixon can ask why again* Honey, he's had a lot of birthdays and with lots of birthdays your body gets worn out.
Mac: Like Daddy's knees buddy.
me: *to the OG* Thank you.
Nixon: Thank you, yous cane is awesome!

  Poor old guy couldn't get away from us fast enough. I thought having Nixon ask the guy himself was better than me fudging an answer with the guy standing only 2 feet away from me.

Explaining old age without offending anyone isn't as easy as you'd think it would be....

* Leaving the Post Office today, Nixon points out an elderly gent using a cane.
Nixon: What's wrong with him?
me: *trying not to cringe as he'd said this loudly and there were 2 other patrons nearby* Nothing's wrong with him, baby. He's just old....umm, he's lived a long life.
Nixon: Why's he walking funny?
me: Well, part of living a long life means your body doesn't stay fresh. He's using a cane because his body needs help.
Nixon: Oh.
me: But he's also really lucky. He's lived to see a lot of birthdays! And that's pretty cool, right?
Nixon: He's had a lot of cakes?! That's awesome!

He has a twin bed, but seems to only need the top portion where his pillows are...